Liberal Dinosaurs and Weak Immune Systems…



“Honey, I’m feeling a little nauseous.”

That’s how it all starts, and it sounds innocent enough. Your wife complains of a little “rumbly in her tummy,” and you think she’s most likely being over-dramatic.

So you say, “You’re feeling nauseous, eh? Sounds like something I’ve dealt with my entire life. By ‘dealt with’ I mean haven’t missed a day of work AND haven’t bitched about it to anyone.”

Ok, so if you actually said this out loud to her, I commend you on your honesty and transparency in the most important of relationships. But unfortunately, I won’t be able to help you move all your stuff into the new studio apartment you were forced to rent after she threw you out of the house. I already have plans that weekend.

However, assuming your above-listed and entirely logical response was given in the inaudible and completely non-judgmental arena of your own brain, you’re probably still sitting in your recliner and feeling pretty good about yourself.

You’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? Why are you telling me about this?” You think back through every cold and flu season for the past decade, or at least the parts you can remember through the haze of DayQuil and NyQuil binges.

A few minutes later you go back to watching the game, entirely forgetting about what she said, until two hours later, when it happens. When IT happens. Yeah, that IT.

You’ve fallen asleep in front of the TV and are rudely awakened by the sound of a fully pressurized fire hose being intermittently unleashed directly into the bathroom toilet. It is accompanied by what could only be the dying groans of a long-extinct reptilian species.

You wonder what on earth an injured dinosaur is doing in your bathroom with a fire hose. So, as one is prone to do after being suddenly awoken from a bourbon-induced late-night nap, you get up to investigate.

As you near the bathroom door and are able to see inside, what you witness is too much for words. There, on her hands and knees, with her back to you and her head directly over the ol’ porcelain poop trap, is the love of your life.

“My god, this dinosaur is being such a dick. Forcing my sweet wife at hose-point to lick the inside of our toilet as a protest to the Trump administration. So that’s where all those YouTube videos came from! I knew people couldn’t be that stupid!!”

After a few moments of introspection, you decide there probably is some sort of marital-duty to save your wife from this liberal madness. You also factor in that this dinosaur sounds obviously injured. Your wife has most likely softened him up, but run out of steam in the process. All that’s left for you to do is rush into the bathroom and finish kicking his Jurassic ass.

Once the decision is made, you act decisively. But upon bursting through the bathroom door and letting out your enraged war-cry, the dinosaur is nowhere to be found. And the fire hose, where the hell is that fire hose?

It’s about this same time when your wife turns her head and says some gibberish about her hair. Her hair? Why on earth is she worried about her hair at a time like this?? We have a liberal dinosaur on the loose with what must be a stolen fire hose!

Then she says something to the effect of, “You freakin’ idiot, hold my hair so I don’t get puke on it!”  And that’s when it dawns on you. There is no dinosaur. There is no fire hose. There’s just your wife. Oh my god…she really IS sick!!

Once you get her cleaned up, sprayed down with the nearest household disinfectant and put to bed, it’s time to face reality. You’ve got to take care of your wife AND kids for the next few days.

I know, I know…your head is spinning at this point. That “in sickness and in health” clause from your wedding vows is kicking in at the worst possible time. Not only is your wife sick, but also there’s little chance you’ll be able to find anyone to take care of your four-year-old and newborn on such short notice.

You’ve got a ton of projects going on at work. You’ve scheduled important meetings with clients for the very next day.  Your inbox just keeps piling up. And now THIS!!

Here’s the thing to keep in mind guys: there’s a reason we go to work everyday, and it’s usually not because we think it’s just so much damn fun. We do it for our family, to take care of them, to make sure they’ve got a safe place to live and everything they need to be happy and well cared for.

Sometimes in the frenzy of workplace politics and personal pride, we lose sight of this simple fact. We don’t live life to work. We work to live life. Specifically, to live the family life. Our families should always be our highest priority.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we realize that according to recent studies, American workers currently don’t use up to half of their allotted paid time off each year. How’s that for crazy? Our employers will PAY US to stay home and focus on our number one priority (our families), and half the time, we don’t do it.

So here’s what you need to do the next time the fire hose wielding liberal dinosaur visits your house. Before you let the inbox at work start stressing you out, calm down and remember that your company can most likely function without you for a day or two. None of us are THAT good at our job, no matter what we think of ourselves.

Explain the situation to your boss, and let him know you’ll be back in as soon as possible. Then relax, dig in, and start doing the job that no one but you can do. The job that you actually enjoy. The job of Family Man (and part-time dinosaur slayer).

78 thoughts on “Liberal Dinosaurs and Weak Immune Systems…

  1. My partner and I stumbled over here by a different web page and thought I may as
    well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.

    Look forward to going over your web page yet again.

  2. This is really attention-grabbing, You are an overly skilled blogger.

    I’ve joined your feed and look ahead to in quest of more of your excellent post.
    Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks

  3. Hello there, I discovered your website by means of Google while searching for a
    similar matter, your website got here up, it seems great.

    I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    Hi there, simply changed into aware of your weblog through Google, and located that it’s truly informative.
    I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate when you
    proceed this in future. Lots of other people might
    be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  4. This design is wicked! You most certainly know how to keep a
    reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job.
    I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that,
    how you presented it. Too cool!

  5. Hello there, I found your site by means of Google while searching for a comparable
    subject, your website came up, it appears great. I’ve bookmarked it
    in my google bookmarks.
    Hello there, simply was alert to your blog through Google, and located that
    it is truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels.
    I’ll be grateful if you proceed this in future.
    A lot of other people might be benefited from your writing.

  6. I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours as of late,
    yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s beautiful worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did,
    the net will likely be much more helpful than ever before.

  7. Hello there! I simply would like to give you a big thumbs up
    for your excellent information you’ve got right here on this post.
    I’ll be returning to your web site for more soon.

  8. What’s up i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere, when i read this
    article i thought i could also create comment due to this sensible paragraph.

  9. Terrific work! That is the type of info that should be
    shared around the internet. Disgrace on Google for
    now not positioning this post higher! Come on over and seek advice from my site .
    Thank you =)

  10. Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening.
    I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this
    short article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and commenting.
    But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  11. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems
    as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You definitely know what youre talking about,
    why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could
    be giving us something informative to read?

  12. This is the perfect webpage for anyone who would like to understand this topic.

    You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that
    I really will need to…HaHa). You definitely put
    a fresh spin on a topic which has been discussed for
    a long time. Great stuff, just excellent!

  13. Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site,
    how could i subscribe for a blog website?
    The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little
    bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

  14. Simply wish to say your article is as surprising.
    The clearness on your submit is simply cool and i could think you’re
    a professional in this subject. Well together with your permission allow me to seize your RSS feed to
    keep updated with imminent post. Thanks one million and please continue the rewarding work.

  15. We’re a bunch of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.

    Your site provided us with valuable info to work on. You’ve performed a formidable
    job and our entire neighborhood will likely be grateful to you.

  16. Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this site.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s difficult to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and visual appeal.

    I must say you’ve done a excellent job with this. Also, the blog loads extremely quick for me on Chrome.
    Excellent Blog!

  17. Simply wish to say your article is as astounding.
    The clearness in your post is just great and i can assume you are an expert on this
    subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with
    forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.

  18. I think that everything published was actually very reasonable.
    However, consider this, what if you were to write a awesome post title?
    I am not saying your content is not good, however suppose you added a title to maybe grab people’s attention? I mean Liberal Dinosaurs
    and Weak Immune Systems… – FM SURVIVAL is a little boring.
    You should look at Yahoo’s home page and watch
    how they create news titles to grab people to click.
    You might add a related video or a picture or two
    to grab readers excited about everything’ve got to say. Just my
    opinion, it would bring your posts a little bit more interesting.

  19. I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog.

    Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up
    the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days.

  20. you’re actually a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is incredible.
    It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece.
    you’ve done a wonderful activity in this topic!

  21. This design is steller! You most certainly know how to keep a reader
    entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well,
    almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say,
    and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  22. Admiring the hard work you put into your blog and in depth information you offer.
    It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a
    while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Fantastic read!
    I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS
    feeds to my Google account.

  23. This design is spectacular! You obviously know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job.
    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

  24. Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us
    have created some nice procedures and we are looking to exchange
    solutions with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  25. Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap 516999410492780544 quest bars cheap
    naturally like your web site however you have to take a
    look at the spelling on several of your posts.
    A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it
    very bothersome to inform the reality however I’ll surely come back again. Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap
    516999410492780544 quest bars cheap

  26. With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism
    or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of completely
    unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it
    is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help protect against content from being
    ripped off? I’d truly appreciate it.

  27. Hi! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him.

    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for

  28. Hi there! This blog post couldn’t be written much better!
    Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He constantly kept preaching about this.
    I most certainly will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to
    have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  29. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something which I think
    I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.
    I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

  30. Hello! This is my 1st comment here so I just
    wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy
    reading through your articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums
    that go over the same subjects? Many thanks!

  31. I think everything said was very logical. But, think on this,
    what if you were to create a killer headline? I mean, I don’t wish
    to tell you how to run your blog, however suppose you added something that makes
    people want more? I mean Liberal Dinosaurs and Weak Immune Systems… – FM SURVIVAL is a little vanilla.
    You ought to glance at Yahoo’s front page and note how they create post titles to get viewers interested.

    You might add a related video or a related pic or two to get readers interested about everything’ve written.
    Just my opinion, it might bring your website a little livelier.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *